A poem about Chang Mai – Thailand

Come to Thailand and visit Chang Mai,
Eat lots of green Thai curry that might make you cry.
It’s spicy and tasty, they’ve got the lot,
So be a ‘man’ and ask for it hot hot hot.

Bottles and bottles of big beer Chang,
Dare to drink more than 4 if you can,
Cocktails at the roadside from the mobile bars,
Loads of late night shopping from the busy bizzar’s

Glampackers and bucketstackers in every guest house,
drinking and chatting about the price of an ‘Ounce.’

‘Special’ massage parlour,
On every street corner,
Selling happy endings including face, neck, shoulder, and back,
Finally finishing off with an and empty ‘sack’.

‘Old fat bald men’ and lady boys,
looking to use each other as toys.
There’s loads of sport bars and lots of slot machines,
Of a different variety if you know what I mean (wink, wink)

Sexy young girl, or could be a bloke???
Wearing a black mini dress and having a smoke.
Shopping for wallets, handbags, watches or tourist ‘tat’.
Terrible T-shirt ‘tag’ lines and ridiculous hats.

Street food is great and ‘Oh so’ cheap,
Suspicion arises about where they get their meat.
Tuc-tucs and scooters but only a few,
Some 2 wheel creations that look really cool.

Lots of wicked tours out up in the hills,
Including elephant jungle treks, swing like a ‘Gibbon’ to give you a thrill.

The sun is hot all day until dusk,
The Thai people very friendly and who you can trust.
It’s in their nature to have loads of fun,
With the tigers and elephants in Thailand Kingdom.

Extreme Mountain biking Chang Mai style verses cooking

Another day and it’s time to do some more crazy 2 wheel action, this time with no pillion. And no engine….

We arrived in Chang Mai Thailand from Laos after a somewhat enormous 23 hours of traveling on a collection of South East-Asia’s motorised transport systems. These consisted of tuc-tuc van, bus, boat, tuc-tuc bike, bus and finally foot and resulted in sweat and sticky pants….

Our time in Thailand was going to be brief so it was down to business and book some excursions asap….

I chose the mountain biking whereas Rachel chose the Thai cooking class.

Andy – Biking it up large!

All kitted up

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The day started well for us with a nice breakfast of tea and fruit musili and then I  got collected from the hotel to the bike hire shop for a briefing and bike/equipment collection. It was probably the first time in nearly 6 months that we’d both been away from each other for more that 10 hours….it was a nice but also a strange feeling……the biking tour ranged from different abilities and included a selection of different routes.  The route I chose was for the extreme!!! As it said in the leaflet.

A small group of 7 collected our gear, including knee and elbow pads as well as helmets and boarded the van which was going to carry us up to the summit of one of the local mountains 1600m meters above sea level up in the Thailand mountain range. The bikes were stacked on the roof. Once at the summit, we tried to make the strange safety pads fit our alien bodies and waited in anticipation to receive our 2 wheeled friends. As the tours in Thailand have a good safety record and high standard of equipment (nothing like India), an assessment of our ability on a mountain bike was carried out. This meant riding down a small slope and riding over a log without falling off…..I passed with flying colours…..however some didn’t and therefore advised on which route to go on.

My group of intrepid bikers

The groups were arranged and off we went. One guide at the front and one at the back making sure the fallen were not left behind. I tried to keep in the front so that the dust didn’t end up in my mouth or my eyes. The satisfaction gained from riding downhill on a good bike and controlling it ‘on the edge’ was awesome. The irony of the day was from one of the guides who happened to be from Wakefield in England. He gave a big speech about not backing off or slowing down for the bumps on this particular part of the track, he set off and I followed behind….during his steep decent he managed to crash into a small tree and I almost ran him over….

The only problem with the tour was that the guide at the front had to stop quite often so the group behind could catch up and also not get lost. This is why the tour took several hours instead of just 1 hour. The final location was down to a beautiful lake 400 meters above sea level where we ate delicious Thai chicken-rice.

When I get back home I’ll definitely make it a priority to get out into the Yorkshire Dales and do some Extreme Mountain Biking Northern style as well.

Rach – Cooking up a Storm

What can I say that cannot be said through the medium of pictures.

Nice outfit for cheffing

ingredients....

... become dishes

I came… I cooked… I ate…. I slept in a hammock… I will be cooking these dishes for a lucky few when we get home!
xx

The Laos Way Round

"Wally" in the hills

Let me introduce you to ‘Wally’ the motorbike. He’s a Honda XR250 motor-cross beast that took us on one of the most exciting trips experienced so far…..

Following on from our awesome tour of the loop at Thakek we decided that our thirst for more 2 wheel action needed quenching, so we scratched our heads and came up with the idea of adventuring off for 8 days into the high north of Laos on a real motorbike (with a little more power and comfort).

When we arrived at Vientienne our first stop was to ‘Jules Classic Bike Hire’ to inquire about costs and availability of a Honda XR250. We found the ower ‘Tiere’ quite funny and amusing for a Frenchman and also cheap so we booked it for in 2 days time. Our route was to start in Vientienne and end in Luang Probang 8 days later. We had to pay$45 dollars extra to drop the bike off there but it also included transporting our backpacks which really helped having to not ‘lug around’ an extra 30kg so it was worth the extra cash…..

Day 1 – We set off around 10am from the shop with somewhat rather fuzzy heads (this can be explained from the previous nights drinking. It resulted from trying to forget the loss of all the video footage taken from the previous bike tour courtesy of an elderly Laos lady who managed to format the memory card when asked if she could change the language settings to English). Once we’d loaded up the bike with our smallish luggage we then said our good byes and headed off up route 13 to Vang Vien approximately 160km north. The drive was easy going with nice flat tarmac and not much traffic. As we got out of the city the scenery started to explain why Laos is such a beautiful country. We arrived at our first location with no problems and with enough time to search out dinner and a cheap room.

Andy with our fuel for the trip... NesCoffee in a can!

Day 2 – Got going nice and early after breakfast and made some good progress on the very bendy roads. The road started to get steeper the further north we travelled. Due to our budget backpacking we didn’t invest in a modern ‘sat nav’ so we had to make do with a compass tied on with a piece of string. Surprisingly it worked great, we knew which way north was…..after a short lunch stop in one of the tiny Laos villages we encountered our first problem. Wally got a flat rear tire.  In Laos there are lots of street mechanic workshops in the villages. Luckily for us we had it next to the workshop. Flat tires are very common due to the road conditions so we were provided with a set of spare inner-tubes just in case. The mechanic took the wheel off and started to fit the new inner-tube, it became apparent that there was a snapped spoke and also several loose ones which had caused the puncture. A bit of electrical tape and a rusty pair of pliers and we were back on the road for the sum of 10,000 kip (1 pound). Our destination was Ponsavan approximately 250km away.

Day 3- OUCH!!!!, our backsides were feeling the pain now. Se off to look at a tourist site called the Plain of Jars which were a collection of giant burial erns dating back thousands of years. The site was interesting but what was worrying were all the UXO or un-exploded ordinances dropped on Laos during the Vietnam/Laos war. This is a really big problem even after 40 years. These bombs are still being found all over and due to the price of scrap metal, villagers are going looking for them to dig up. These bombs can vary size from tennis ball to 2 meter long torpedo shaped. Most of the farm land is littered with them and on average 1 person every day dies from this problem. It is so important to stick to the paths. We were heading up to San Neua also approximately 250km away. The further north and the higher we went the colder it got. Not just a little but really cold. We both had to wear 3 pairs of pants and all our jumpers. The silly thing was that we didn’t have any gloves and the only available ones wouldn’t fit on my little finger so socks had to make do….the journey wasn’t as  pleasing today due to the large fog clouds and the lack of road visability but we plodded on and arrived around 5.00pm just as it was getting dark. If you go to San Neua don’t expect to eat, as there are no restaurants open and the only passable one serves comedy rubber chicken that you can’t chew. We went hungry…..

Day 4 – Set off to Vieng Xai on a special day……Valentines Day. We didn’t have to ride very far as the location was only about 25km away so it gave us time for our butts to recover. We’d been told to go and visit the Caves as they were interesting but we didn’t quite imagine how amazing they actually were. The story behind them is that during the war the American dropped bombs every day for 11 years trying to kill the Laos government who they knew were somewhere in the area. The Laos people had dug into the caves and made them into safe hidings by building concrete bomb shelters and emergency rooms. There were bedrooms and kitchens and even a performance stage area for when circus shows and cinema/movies were shown. The bombings happened through the daytime so farming and looking for food had to be carried out at night. The tour guide was very good and the audio guide was excellent. We headed back to ‘Rubber-chickenville’ and had a nice bottle of Laos rice wine to wash it down with.

Day 5 – Vieng tong was our next location. We expected it to be cold but as we rode on it became so hot we had to make a quick clothing change. On the way back we stopped off at a hill village where we’d previously purchased some petrol to hand out some books and pencils to the local children. They were very cute but also very shy. Probably none of the children had been to school ever so a book and pencil was pretty alien to them. Problem number 2 happened, the gear change lever came loose but once again we were fortunate to breakdown next to a mechanics so I borrowed a spanner and managed to fit it back on. At this place there was a hot spring so I was very excited as I’d never been to one before. I imagined bubbling hot water in a pool with a cascading waterfall……what we found was a damn with pipes with holes in squirting boiling water onto slimy rocks with old underpants stuffed in the crevices…. we still managed to spend about 1 hour boiling our feet though. Food in Laos is always a challenge in the smaller villages as there is usually only one place and the prices quadruple on the special western menu.

Day 6 – Filled up ‘Wally’ for about 8 pounds and then made our way to Nong Khiaw about another 150km away. The scenery once again was stunning. We stopped at a little village which was gorgeous. The river run through it and on the banks were local women with babies strapped to their hips picking the vegetables and chatting. We bought some oranges and they were probably the tastiest ones we’ve ever had. Problem again…..’Walley’s’ gear change lever came loose again, this time it was unfixable without a welding job. We were also miles away from anywhere. Fortunately the road was down hill for about 10km. I managed to get him into 3rd and we pushed off and rolled most of the way to the next village where 5000 kip (50p) sealed his fate. (No more problem). Nang Khiaw was a very stunning place. It was nice to see a few more restaurants with edible food and a few more travellers. We bagged a hut room overlooking the river and the giant mountain and went down to have a swim with the local kids, who liked to do crazy backflip jumps.

Day 7 – Absolutely stunning view from the balcony of the misty covered mountain. Set off to Luang Prabang approximately 160km away. The roads were less demanding as they were mostly flat and straight-ish. The road ran alongside the river and gave us some amazing camera opertunities. We finally arrived in Luang Probang to what seemed to be the hottest day since records began. We were melting and only had hot bottle water to drink. We tried to go in search of a room with the bike and all the gear but the heat was to much and I think I blew a gasket and fell out with co-pilot Rach. We had a cooling down period and all was forgiven and then headed out for some tasty pizza.

Kuang Si falls

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 8 – Our final day on ‘Wally’. We made our way to Kuang Si waterfall about 25km out of the city. A nice drive and no bum aches either which was nice. The waterfall was nice but a real tourist trap. The best thing was the rope swing which we both did. The water was absolutely freezing but it was a nice shock to the system. We returned back to the room and had a sleep ready for the collection of the bike and my safe return of my backpack and my passport. I think we were both glad and sad to see ‘Wally’ go but we can both say that we enjoyed one of the best experiences so far in his company…….

The Laos Loop

We have now arrived in the amazing land of Laos.

Waterfall on Don Khone Island

First stop was the fabled 4000 islands in the south… unfortunately a haven for what we have christened Glampackers and Bucketstackers (or those with hair straighteners and an obsession with booze and western culture, even whilst in a totally different country).

Typical island shop

We spent a few nice days here tubing on the lazy rivers, cycling around and even doing a fishing trip! Its lovely and green and languid, but just too touristy once the tunes started pumping out! (Lao crap music or Finnish trance!)

 

Ready for tubing!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Andy sunset fishing... we caught f-all!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So we left after 3 days, moving onto Tha Khaek where we heard there was a real experience to be had! The Loop is a 3 to 4 day trip by scooter into the highlands to explore caves and local villages. In the hotel where we stayed there was a log book with around 6 years worth of stories about the trip… we have or course contributed in Rachel and Andy style… a poem about our trip… so here it is! (our bike was called Ziggy Road-Dust by the way)

Ziggy Road-Dust

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Loop

We came to Laos to do the Loop,
so 2 on one bike, off we troop.

Day 1 we saw caves that were cool,
a super cute monkey and Mr You, You, You.

The hills looked like a Dinosaur’s back,
we revved the engine and made some tracks.

We lost some things along the chase,
a right foot flip flop and a camera case.

We made a stop to grab some lunch,
and met some locals who packed a punch.

They fed us beer and animal brains,
our stomachs will never be the same again.

Beware of the road, we had been told;
the sand and the gravel will slow your travel.

Sabaidee Guesthouse our home for the night,
sitting and chatting in the firelight.

Day 2 had dawned, so early we rose,
to tackle the Armageddon Road.

Tarmac came and Tarmac went,
we hoped that Ziggy would not be bent.

For over 3 hours, he pounded the stones,
every bump saw us emitting groans.

The dust turned all the plants to red,
a mouthful of gravel is what we dread.

We stopped for lunch in LakSao town.
The offal kebabs just made us frown.

A German’s bike had broken down.
At least, our Ziggy had made it to town.

XokXay hotel where we decided to sleep,
had cable TV and karaoke beats.

We headed to eat at a place that was near,
but they only had beef and local Lao Beer.

Day 3 and we were feeling saddlesore…
saddlesore but raring for more.

Today was the day to visit the cave.
Time for Rach to be ultra-brave.

We boarded our boat and entered the gloom.
Hoping to see daylight once again soon.

The cavern was huge and creepy and dark.
Soundless when our outboard engine didn’t start.

When finally we emerged out into the sun,
we thought it was great, but glad it was done.

The stretch of road towards route 13…
was winding and lovely; a beautiful scene.

We stopped at a viewpoint for a mini-hike,
Then spotted a couple on a dodgy bike.

The machine had stopped working, they had snapped a chain,
but the thing was so battered and old… it looked in pain!

We stayed at LuangSeng hotel, a lovely spot.
Beer Laos, peace and quiet and takeaway dinner was hot.

Day 4 was time to make our way back,
We deviated down the KongLeng track.

We hoped to find a beautiful lake,
but were seriously worried that Ziggy would break.

After all we had see and all we had done,
we decided it was time to save our bums.

So back to town to sink some beers,
and clean the dust from behind our ears.

Its a time we’ll remember, to make us laugh,
Just make sure you drive the amazing Loop path.